Marriage and the Mystery of Christ

We do not need to lift out any particular text of Scripture to "prove" this high view of marriage since married life was the norm for the Jewish tradition, and married love and children were regarded as gifts of God. That intimate joy and sense of family carried over into Christian faith and ethics. For example, the Apostle Paul, who was likely married at one point, though some do not think so, had this to say about marriage in his letter to the Ephesians (5:21-33):

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, be 
subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord.  For the husband is 
the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body 
of which he is the Savior.  Just as the church is subject to Christ, so 
also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.  Husbands, 
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up 
for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing 
of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splen-
dor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind--yes, so that she 
may be holy and without blemish.  In the same way, husbands should 
love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife 
loves himself.  For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes 
and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because 
we are members of his body.  "For this reason a man will leave his 
father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become 
one flesh."  This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ 
and the church.  Each of you, however, should love his wife as him-
self, and a wife should respect her husband.

These are not the words of some frustrated bachelor or culturally-driven bigot; Paul is not asserting male dominance! His overall message is one of mutual submission in love as a familiar example of Christ's persistent, faithful, and total love for those who follow Him. The marital relationship between wife and husband has a sacramental character, that is, it is a divinely graced relationship that is essentially redemptive. And, if this is not deep enough, marriage is a call to holiness in our relationship with one another, not only love individual to individual but in the larger church and in our love of God.

As I write this, terrorists have struck again in the Kingdom of Jordan, bombing hotels and taking many lives. Early reports say that the bulk of those killed were members of a wedding party. For Christians, this is both a horror and a defiance of God's revealed love for people. It is a strike against the holiness of God and His intentions for human beings. A celebration of the mystery of God has been turned by hatred into excruciating pain and tragedy. Such actions do not, however, rob marriage of its God-ordained significance, but it does underscore that the meaning of marriage must be lived out in a panic-stricken world and therefore the witness to God's reconciling and holy love in marriage has to be-for the time being-lived out as a witness against evil, as a testimony that God invests Himself in people for the glory of His eternal kingdom. We should take heart in the confidence that God has created people for Himself, has sent His Son to make peace possible, and that marriage is a sign that God continues to work in spite of our doubt and fear.

Think of this: as a Christian your partner is a sister or a brother to you, as well as a mate. He or she is a bearer of God's grace in your relationship. Therefore, love your wife or your husband, be unselfish with that person, and meditate on your vows to one another as vows to God, for the glory of God. This is a mystery of the highest order! I don't know what you said in your marriage vows, but I looked her in the eyes and spoke something about "better or worse," "richer or poorer," "sickness and health"; something about cherishing her any road life takes. This does take us back to Christ, doesn't it?

J. L. Mercer